It’s
not easy meeting new people, especially if you feel particularly shy.
It is much easier to just walk by a person and never make eye contact.
This may be OK at the store, but what if you’re at a convention, a trade
fair or even a local festival. That person that you just walked past
could be a valuable contact. Or they could know someone you want to
know. They also could be a jerk. But you’ll never know unless you put
yourself out there and find out for sure.
Will
some people reject you and not want to talk to you? Yes. But who cares?
For every 10 people you talk, one or two of them could become valuable
connections — or lifelong friends. What have you got to lose?
Here are a few ways you can overcome your fear and turn strangers into new connections:
1. Say “Hi.”
Just
say “Hi,” to someone. You’d be amazed at how quickly you get a friendly
response. When I worked in restaurants, we often had rules like, “say
hello within a minute of someone walking in” or “answer the phone within
three rings.”
Practice with people wherever
you are – the grocery store, the bank, the farmers’ market. Just say
“hello” and smile. You’ll be amazed by how many people respond.
2. Look Approachable
How
you look and act says a lot about how people react to you. No, this
doesn’t mean you have to wear a coat and tie. In fact, being in more
relaxed clothing might make you seem more approachable. Your body
language is key. Are slumped over, looking at the ground? Straighten up!
Look ahead and make eye contact with people as you walk by, even if you
don’t stop to talk. When someone is near you, make sure you look
receptive. Don’t cross your arms over your chest. Instead, put your arms
down, or behind your back, making your body look more open. Smile or at
least relax your face so you don’t look tense.
3. Assume the other person is shy
So
if you’re shy and they’re shy, how are you going to meet? Well, since
you’re the one reading this article, you have the advantage and can
assume the other person is too shy to say anything. So, overcome your
fear and walk over to them. Talk about the weather or baseball or if
they’re holding a book or magazine, ask what they’re reading. You’d be
amazed at how many connections are made by simply saying, “some weather
we’re having, huh?”
4. Practice
Just
like anything else, you can’t get good at something until you practice
it. Take the opportunity, wherever you are, to talk to strangers (yes, I
know what your mother said. I say the same thing to my kids). You will
probably feel awkward at first. Perhaps even a little bit silly. But you
will find that after a while, it becomes almost second nature to talk
with people at the store or the park.
5. Find common ground
While
you’re chatting with someone, pay attention to the things they seem to
like — or notice where you are. If you’re at the car parts store, ask
about their car interests. If you’re at the farmers’ market, ask if they
have a garden. Find out if they have kids, go fishing, whatever. Most
likely, you will have something to talk with this new person about.
6. Decide if you’re interested in pursuing
At
the end of a conversation, you have to decide whether or not you want
to pursue this relationship. If you do, present the person with your
card or ask for theirs. Alternatively, ask for an email address or
Facebook connection. Say something cheery like, “we should meet up
sometime and talk more.” If you don’t want to pursue this connection,
just be gracious, say “good talking to you.” And chalk up the
conversation up to experience.
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