If you feel like you’re the awkward person at
social events or you struggle to enter into conversations because you’re
shy, it can impact your social life and your career. However, you can
start improving your social skills by following these 12 strategies and
soon, you’ll be able to enter into conversations with confidence.
1. Behave Like a Social Person
You
can behave like a more social creature, even if you don’t feel like it.
Don’t allow anxiety to hold you back. Make the decision to talk to new
people and to enter into conversations even when you’re feeling nervous
about it. Over time, it will get easier and you’ll quickly start
improving your social skills.
2. Start Small if Necessary
If
going to a party or spending time in a crowd seems overwhelming, start
small. Go into the grocery store and say, “Thank you,” to the clerk or
go to a restaurant and order your food. Practice making small talk
gradually.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
If
you want the attention off you in a conversation, get familiar with
open-ended questions. Encourage others to talk so you won’t have to make
the idle chit-chat. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no
answer and you may open the door to invite the other person to keep the
conversation going.
4. Encourage Others to Talk About Themselves
Most
people really enjoy talking about themselves. Ask a question about a
person’s career, hobbies, or family. Show you’re interested in hearing
what is being said.
5. Create Goals For Yourself
Establish
some small goals for yourself. Perhaps you want to practice one
particular skill or maybe you want to start attending a social activity
in your community. Establish a goal and begin to work on strategies that
will improve your social life.
6. Offer Compliments Generously
Compliments
can be a great way to open the door to a conversation. Offer a
co-worker a compliment on a presentation he gave at a meeting or
compliment your neighbor on his new car. Compliments can show others
that you are friendly.
7. Read Books About Social Skills
There
are many books on the market that can help you learn specific social
skills and ways to start conversations. However, keep in mind that
reading about these skills won’t make you an expert. You’ll need to
practice them over and over again.
8. Practice Good Manners
Good manners go a long way in improving social skills. Practice being polite, showing gratitude, and using good table manners.
9. Pay Attention to Your Body Language
Non-verbal
communication is very important. Pay attention to the type of body
language you use. Try to appear relaxed, make appropriate amounts of eye
contact, and appear open to conversation.
10. Join a Social Skills Support Group
Many
communities offer social skill support groups. Support groups help
people who feel shy, awkward, or extremely anxious in social situations
learn and practice new skills. You’ll start improving social skills and
may be able to make new friends who understand your difficulties.
11. Stay Up to Date on Current Events
Read
up on current trends and news stories so you have something to talk
about with people. Try to avoid anything that is too controversial, such
as politics, but do talk about other news stories that may be of
interest. It can be a great way to start a conversation and can help you
stick to neutral subjects.
12. Identify and Replace Negative Thoughts
If
you have a lot of negative thoughts about your social interactions, it
could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, a person who
thinks, “I’m really awkward and I will embarrass myself,” may sit in the
corner at a party. As a result, he may leave the party thinking that he
must be really awkward because no one talked to him.
Identify
negative thoughts that are likely dragging you down. Replace them with
more realistic thoughts, such as, “I can make conversation and I can
meet new people.” Don’t allow yourself to dwell on thoughts that aren’t
productive.
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