We’re all way too busy.  We live and work in an age with infinite online and offline demands on our time and attention.  And the end result is that we’re left little free time for us to just breath and be.
If you’re anything like me, you wish there were a few more minutes in every day.  Well the good news is there are always minutes to be saved and various ways to save them.  Save enough of them every day, and you’ll have a few extra hours at the end of the week.  In this article I discuss 30 of my favorite ways to save 30 minutes a day.
Sometimes our days are so crammed with things to do that an extra 30 minutes at the end of the day represents the difference between sanity and insanity.  I use each of the tips below to save time and remain sane on a daily basis.

Perhaps the very best question that you can memorize and repeat, over and over, is, “what is the most valuable use of my time right now?”
– Brian Tracy

1. Group similar tasks back-to-back. – Switching gears between different types of tasks can be tough.  It takes most people several minutes to get into a productive mental groove geared toward a speficic type of task.  Therefore, it makes sense to group similar tasks in an effort to minimize the number of rough patches, and thus wasted time, between task orders.
2. Use productive shortcuts. – People who claim that there are no productive shortcuts in life have been brainwashed.  There are productive shortcuts for almost everything you do.  Finding and using them can save you a few minutes here and there on a daily basis.  If you use a computer, learn the keyboard shortcuts for the programs you use most often.  If you can permanently delegate one of your regular tasks to someone else, do it.  Is there a route to work with less traffic?  Where can you hit two birds with one stone?
3. Eliminate all distractions for a set time. – Distractions  are everywhere.  They arrive via email, cell phone, coworker inquiry, etc.  I’ve found that cutting out all distractions for a set time is one of the most effective ways to get things done in less time.  You can’t remain in hiding forever, but you can be nearly four times as productive while you are.
4. Narrow the number of ventures you’re involved in. – Productivity is not usually my challenge, narrowing the number of ventures to be productive in is.  Even when you have the knowledge and ability to access super-productive states, you get to a point where being simultaneously super-productive on too many fronts at once causes all activities to slow down, stand still and sometimes even slide backwards.
5. Plan ahead and start early. – 10 minutes of dedicated time planning each evening will save you from 30 minutes of ad-hoc preparation each morning.  Likewise, starting your morning on purpose 30 minutes early will likely inject at least 60 additional productive minutes into your day.  Think about it.
6. Organize your space. – How much time do you think the average person wastefully spends searching for items they’ve misplaced?  Keeping both your living and working spaces organized will undoubtedly save you 30 minutes daily.
7. Productively use waiting time. – Waiting time does not have to be wasted time.  When you are waiting at the doctor’s office, the post office, or on hold for the next available representative, what simple tasks could you complete while you wait?  How about sorting through your snail mail, writing those thank you notes you’ve been putting off, reading the book you keep meaning to read, reviewing and editing your to-do lists, etc.
8. Handle two minute tasks immediately. – “The 2 Minute Rule” is single greatest tip I picked up from David Allen’s book, “Getting Things Done.”  If you roughly estimate that a task is going to take you less than two minutes to accomplish, do it right now.  It’s a waste of time and energy to keep small tasks like this on your to-do list on in the back of your mind.
9. Ask more questions. – The trial and error process can be a huge waste of time.  Often people view asking questions and relying on others as a weakness, but they are sadly mistaken.  Asking questions will bring you closer to the people around you and likely save you a huge chunk of time.  Win-win.
10. Buy in bulk and cook in bulk. – Buying stuff and cooking food are two of the most common unplanned consumptions of time.  Most people buy replacements in small amounts only when they need them and think about food only when they’re hungry.  The problem is these issues will often arise at inopportune times.  The most efficient way I’ve found to counteract this is by doing bulk loads of both.  I know I’ll always need gas in my vehicle.  So instead of putting in $25 here and $25 there, I top off my tank every time I’m at the station regardless of the sticker shock.  Likewise, I know I’m going to be hungry at lunch time every day this week.  So on Sundays I’ll grill up five extra chicken breasts and make a chicken wrap or sandwich for every day of the week.
11. Pick-up the phone. – We’ve become so accustomed to communicating digitally, sending emails, IMs and texts, etc. that we sometimes forget that we can get the same tasks accomplished in a fraction of the time with one or two quick phone calls.
12. Don’t mindlessly browse online ad infinitum.  – Web browsing is one of the immense black holes in time spending.  Before you realize it, you may have spent hours browsing while generating very little value.
13. Standardize common tasks. – If you find yourself performing the same set of tasks on a regular basis then it makes sense to establish an efficient, standardized way of accomplishing them.  Are certain tasks easier to perform in the morning?  Are there additional resources that can be utilized only at a certain time?  It’s up to you to find an efficient pattern, standardize it and follow it.
14. Make better usage of commute times. – Listen to audio books, make calls, do some proactive time planning, etc.  I use Evernote on my iPhone and capture tons of ideas and thoughts when I’m commuting and traveling on business.
15. Write things down. – Nobody’s memory is perfect.  If you don’t take notes and setup to-do lists for yourself you will end up wasting minutes of time trying to remember things that would have taken you seconds to write down.
16. Consolidate all daily errands into one trip. – Consolidate all of your errands into one trip instead of driving back and forth several times from home to the store to home to the bank to home, etc.
17. Stop overanalyzing things.  – There comes a time when you have to stop evaluating something and just bite the bullet and do it.  Contemplating taking action isn’t taking action.  It gets nothing accomplished.
18. Exercise daily. – I know it sounds counter-intuitive.  You have to spend time exercising.  But, research has shown that exercise boosts cognitive function, creativity, problem solving and productivity.  In fact a NASA study showed employees who exercised daily worked at 100% efficiency after seven hours, while those who didn’t saw a 50% drop, meaning it took them twice as long to accomplish the same thing.
19. Use a timer. – I use a timer to limit the amount of time I spend on daily tasks such as email, retuning calls, cranking through my to-do lists, etc.  This keeps me from getting overly distracted from the truly important tasks I must accomplish during the day.
20. Do what you don’t want to do first. – If you do the tough tasks first when your mind is fresh, you’ll get them done quicker and be on to the next thing in no time.
21. Harness the power of teamwork. – I heard a story once about some horses that were in a competition to see which could pull the most weight.  One horse pulled 3,000 lbs and another one pulled 4,000 lbs.  Someone suggested the horses team together to see how much they could pull.  Most guesses were in the 7,000 lb to 10,000 lb range but when those two horses worked together, they pulled an amazing 20,000 lbs.  That’s the power of teamwork.  Good teamwork can get a large project completed in an amazingly short amount of time.
22. Just say NO!  – While saying yes can take us down some wonderful roads, there’s also a ton of value in saying “no.”  We’re only given a certain amount of hours in our lives; do you really want to give yours away so easily?  If you don’t have to time to commit to a new project, complete a favor, or serve on another committee, it’s a good idea to just say “no.”
23. Focus your attention on one thing at a time.  – Cutting out multitasking (or “multi-slacking” as I call it) leaves you to focus more intently on one task and finish it to completion, rather than having many tasks started and nothing finished.
24. Pare down your e-mail inbox. – As a first step, cancel any e-mail newsletter subscriptions that you do not read anymore.  If you subscribe to more than one newsletter in a certain category (e.g. tech newsletters), choose the one that delivers the most value to you on a daily basis and get rid of the rest.  The e-mail inbox should only be for priority communication, otherwise it just wastes your time.
25. Use time multipliers. – Effective delegation of lower priority tasks is a time multiplier.  Eliminating time wasting activities is a time multiplier.  Screening phone calls can be a time multiplier.  By practicing creative procrastination on anything that doesn’t propel you toward your goals, you can multiply the amount of time you have to achieve those goals.
26. Relocate closer to your place of employment. – In every major city in the world there are people traveling over an hour to reach their work destination from home.  This is a huge chunk of time that could be used far more productively.
27. Turn off the TV. – Nuff said.
28. Use technology to automate tasks. – From creating email filters, to automatically backing-up your hard drive, to automatic bill paying.  The more you can automate, the more time you’ll save.
29. Keep it simple. – Keep your to-do lists and planning simple, and don’t waste time playing with new tools, etc.  There’s always going to be shiny programs that promise to make your day faster and more efficient.  Stick with one, and learn to rely on it.
30. Spend minutes now to save hours later. – During happy hour last Friday I spent some time listening to one of my colleagues confess her utter distaste for the Windows 7 Start menu.  “The system is organized all wrong.  The programs I need are buried and the ones I never use are right at my finger tips.  I waste so much time digging through menus,” she said.  “But you can easily rearrange that,” I replied.  She looked down with a despondent expression on her face.  “I know,” she said.  “Someone else told me that too, but I haven’t taken the time to figure it out.”  Bottom line:  Sometimes you have to spend a few minutes now to save hours of grief in the future.

The world is full of people wanting to improve and be more successful, but who aren´t willing to do anything about it. In many cases, this is due to not knowing what to do or thinking they aren´t good enough, fast enough or clever enough, so they accept what life gives them instead of going out and creating life for themselves.

The steps to being more successful and outcompeting most others, however, do not depend on ability or how you were born, they depend on living with intent, purpose, and direction.

Follow the steps below and you will live with intent, purpose and direction as well.

Get up when the alarm clock goes off.

Never snooze. Get out of bed the instance your alarm goes off. By doing this you start the day with extra time and a win. Most people cannot do this, so by doing this one step, you are already ahead.

Get up early.

Get up as early as possible, and start with a morning routine that sets you up for a great day every day. Do heavy and meaningful work in the morning, as this is when your brain works the best.

Meditate.

A new kid on the block, yet very important. While meditation has been around for centuries, practiced by Eastern monks in various forms, it is quickly taking its hold in popular culture, powered by the adoption by many successful people. People such as Tim Ferriss, Ariana Huffington, and many others swear to it, and contribute a lot of their success to meditating. Need help getting started? Try the guided meditations apps Calm or Headspace.

Exercise.

Exercise. There is no way around it. Most successful people swear to their exercise, and most of them do it early in the morning. There has never been a person who blamed anything negative on exercise. Yet still, many of us don´t.

Remember, exercise can be many things. If you haven’t done anything in a long time, start with brisk walks. The trick is, do something every day without exception, and make sure it gets your heart rate up.

Eat right.

The western world is in the middle of an obesity epidemic. We know more than we ever have about what´s good for us or not, yet we don´t follow it. Instead, we eat more fast foods, sweets, snacks and convenience meals than ever before. Eating junk satisfies an urge right now, but kills you over time. Eating junk is giving in to weakness and displaying poor self-discipline. Eating right gives you more energy, a healthier body, a better functioning brain and many other health benefits.

You are what you eat (almost). What do you want to be?

Journal.

Write things down. Anything and everything. The sooner you start journaling, the sooner things will be clear to you.

Write down how to tackle a problem.

Set and write down your goals.

Write down how your days are going to be in the morning.

Write down how your day was and what you liked about it in the evening.

Write about subjects that interest you. Writing about a subject makes you better at it. Post those articles to Medium.

Make your own reality by writing it down. Try it, you will be amased by the clarity it produces.

Set goals.

Set goals for yourself. Set goals for next week, next month, next year and 5, 10, years ahead. What do you want to achieve? How are you going to achieve them? If you don´t set any goals you will go where the world pushes you, instead of pursuing your dreams. Revisit these goals often daily and in-depth weekly, monthly and yearly. Use them as your guide, your sail, but revise when necessary.

Never be satisfied.

Never get complacent. Never think “I´ve made it” or “this is as good as I´ll get”. When reaching a goal, set a new one. You celebrate when you achieve something and reach a goal, but don´t let it allow you to then stop. Keep pushing.

Always be early.

Everywhere, no matter what. Never let people wait for you. Don´t be disrespectful of others time. Don´t be known as the one that can´t be counted on. Instead, be known as the one who is always dependable, always early. If you for some reason cannot make it to an appointment on time, cancel it in advance, apologise for the inconvinience and already have suggestions ready for rescheduling.

And don´t worry so much about having to wait for others if you are early. Always carry a book and a notebook and you will have plenty of things to do while waiting!

Don´t complain.

Just don´t. Complaining doesn´t change or solve anything. The only thing you get out of blaming is that you think more negatively and others will stop wanting to be around you.

Don´t expect things, earn them.

Don´t expect the world to give you anything, instead put in what´s needed to earn what you want. Adopt a mindset of “What do I need to do to get what I want” instead of “Who is going to give me what I want”.

Take responsibility.

You alone are the architect of your life. Everything is your responsibility, so take ownership and take it now. If you want to get up earlier, get up earlier. If you want to eat right, eat right. If you want to get a promotion, study those better than you, read books and hone your skill and go earn that promotion.

Do the work, no matter what.

Put in the work and hours needed to get what you want. And it doesn´t matter if you hate your job, the specific task, the class, your boss or whatever. Always put in the hours, always work hard, always hone your skills. But don´t do it to appear busy, only appear as busy as you are.

But work smart, not only hard.

Working hard does not mean mindlessly performing a task repetitively in an unproductive way. Get better, learn new ways, techniques and tricks and employ them while still putting in the necessary hours and effort. You will find that you will improve, rise through the ranks and be more successful.

Be consistent and persistent.

Don´t give up. Don´t stop. Apply discipline to stay at things even when they aren´t fun, when you aren´t motivated, when it get´s tough. More often than not, it is not skill or ability that separates the success from the not, it´s persistence. Keep producing, keep improving, keep trying and keep learning, and you will get there. Give up at the first sign of resistance or lack of motivation and you will get nowhere.

Still be aware and mature enough to understand when you need to quit something. But know that giving up on one thing frees up time to churn away at something else.

Embrace failure, mistakes, and fuck-ups.

Failing is great for you! It is a unique learning opportunity that taught you something that didn´t work so you can go and try something else. Not a single successful person in the world has gotten to where they are without stumbling many times on the way. The only difference between them and those who don´t end up successful is persistence. You must adopt a mentality where you don´t fear failing or making mistakes, but embrace it and learn from it.

Don´t worry about looking stupid.

If you want to improve, you´ve got to put yourself out there. If you put yourself out there you are bound to make to look stupid to others sometimes. Don´t fear this, embrace it! Use it to practice your humility. Laugh at yourelf. Learn from the experience and improve.

Help others.

Always offer your help to others, with anything. Focus on how to make others succeed and look good, not on yourself. Don´t take credit for anything that isn´t yours, and even then, make sure to mention any that has helped you. Do this, and you will benefit from it as well.

Give.

Be generous. Be generous with time, money, advice, recommendations, etc. Just be generous. If you are generous, others will be to you as well.

Study and learn, and never stop.

Life is about learning, and you should never stop. Unfortunately, this idea that “education” only happens in life´s formative years has made many of us stop trying to learn. The rest of life we spend on mindlessly executing.

This is wrong, you should always be learning. And learning does not only mean going to school. Learning means to read, to visit new places, to get to know new people, to challenge yourself, to engage in discussions, and most importantly, to talk with people of different ages, races, culture, and opinions than you. Remember, everybody you meet will know something you don´t. So be humble and learn.

Focus on how the world is changing and assess as soon as possible if there are new skills you need to learn or directions you need to take to adapt to the changing world before it is too late.

Challenge yourself.

Never get complacent, never get stuck. Always push yourself in every way you can. Challenge yourself to do better in exercise, to work better, to meet x new people in X week, to do bungee jumping, to read a book that holds the opposite opinion to you, to be more grateful, to not get angry, to speak in public, to write a book. Whatever really, but never stop challenging yourself.

Meet new people.

But stay in contact with old. Always try to get to know and talk to new people, but never forget old friends and family. Life is about seeing new things and people, but also nurturing relationships and showing gratitude to those who have had a positive influence on you.

Surround yourself with inspiring people.

But let go of negative people who do not have a positive impact on your life. Being around dishonest, greedy and selfish people will make you dishonest, greedy and selfish. Being around lazy, complaining and expectant people will make you expectant.

Being around inspiring, productive, successful people will make you inspiring, productive, successful. Choose your friends.

Show gratitude.

Don´t ever again go away from something thinking “wow, that Barrista was really good, I should have told him” or anything similar. In fact, train yourself to spot and appreciate the little things people do above and beyond, and make sure to show your appreciation. This can be to the bus driver, school teacher, colleague, partner, parent, etc.

Stay honest, always.

Practice honesty in everything you do. Honesty to yourself and to everybody else. Personal integrity is at an all-time low and only going down. Stay ahead of the pack by always being honest. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you are unable to, alert in advance and apologies. If you ever wrong anyone, apologise.

Saying no.

Say no to things that aren´t important, to free up time for things that are important. Prioritise what is important to you and stick to it. But also accept that these priorities might change. Maybe at one point, every networking event you can go to is important to you, but later, being with your partner is more important. Remember, things may seem important without being so. Be ruthless, honest and consult your goals. Always leave time for your “down time”, family time, OWN time or whatever you call it.

Take care of yourself.

Listen to yourself. Give yourself time and space when needed. You might feel like superman (or superwoman), but if you don´t get the adequate rest and recovery time, you will crash. Don´t let it happen to you and be smart in advance. Plan in restitution time, for body and mind.

CALL TO ACTION

If you want to start seeing real change, you need to start with your mornings.

I have put together a 9.000 word Guide and Checklist on how to develop a Morning Routine that allows you to live with direction, purpose and intent.

“Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.” ~Michael Pritchard
For too much of my life, fear held me back.
Fear of abandonment.
Fear of looking bad.
Fear of taking risks.
Fear that I might get hurt.
Fear that things would turn out badly.
Fear that people would see (and dislike) the “real” me.
Most of the time my fear was an invisible fence that zapped me when I got too close to the edge of my comfort zone. But there were times when fear was an ever-present, palpable blanket that shrouded me with worry and anxiety.
My fallback position during fearful times was to “think my way” out of fear. I figured if I worried about the thing I feared enough, I could control it. If I kept my mind focused on it, and if I created a good enough plan for self-preservation, I could keep all bad outcomes at bay.
That was a really bad strategy.
It was a bad strategy for a variety of reasons.
First, the more I focused on my fears and worked on creating tactics to protect myself, the bigger the fears grew. As I allowed my brain to soak in the poison of my fears, my fear-based thinking became a habit. I had “taught” my brain to loop through my fears and possible bad outcomes constantly, like a gerbil on a wheel. It was exhausting.
Also, believing I could “out-think” my fears and control outcomes was an exercise in futility. So many of my fears centered on unpredictable, uncontrollable variables (trying to make people like me, keeping bad things from happening, etc.), that it was impossible to cover all of my bases and keep all unpleasantness contained. It was like trying to manage a flea circus.
And further, I was operating under the misguided assumption that the outcomes I feared would be really terrible, traumatic, life-altering things. I let my mind wander to the worst possible scenarios and envisioned dire consequences. When in reality, there was very little (and sometimes no) chance of the bad thing happening at all. Or if it did happen, the fallout and my ability to cope with it, was far less difficult than I imagined. Most of the time, everything turned out OK, in spite of my fear and worry.

I was operating under the misguided assumption that the outcomes I feared would be really terrible, traumatic, life-altering things.

Does any of this sound vaguely familiar to you?
In my own defense (lest I sound like a wacked-out nut case), I did have some early life events (as most of us do) that added to my propensity for fear-based thinking. And on the scale of emotional sensitivity, I'm probably more hyper-vigilant and sensitive than the average person.
If you had known me during my years of fear-based thinking, you might not have suspected it of me, as I became very skilled at designing my life to feel and look safe and comfortable.
But to be honest, I didn't have nearly as much fun, joy, lightness, and peace as I could have had — should have had — if I'd learned earlier what I know now.
I try not to dwell in the past, but sometimes I can't help but look back on my younger adult years and think, “Dang, it could have been so much more fun.”
So what changed for me? I wish I could say I read a great blog post that enlightened me to my fearful ways and offered me the insights and techniques for overcoming my fears and living passionately.

But what really happened was a mid-life crash and burn.

I turned 50 and was slammed with the truth that my life was more than half over, and I no longer could live it as a compromised person. My children grew older, started leaving home, and no longer needed me as a full-time caregiver. My 20-year marriage unraveled. My career in public relations was no longer fulfilling or in any way enjoyable. I lost a close friendship. My last close parent-figure (an aunt) died.
Every part of my life that seemed safe and real to me was suddenly turned upside down. The “bad thing” that I feared and tried to protect myself from had finally happened.
Now I'm not going to tell you that all of this wasn't excruciatingly painful. It was. It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. And there were certainly days I wanted to crawl back to the safety of my old life.
But . . . going through this was like lancing a boil (yucky analogy but spot on). Once the pain lessened, I was free. I was free of fear. I was free to be myself.

• I could see as clear as the nose on my face that all of my fearful thinking was a huge waste of time and energy.

• I could see that good and bad things are going to happen in life regardless of my efforts to control them.

• I could see that the only thing I can control is how I choose to think and what I choose to believe about any situation or person.

• I could see that the vast majority of things we fear are illusions.

• I could see that the only important thing to focus on in life is this moment, right now.

I'm not completely free of fear. It's a work in progress. I fear getting older. I fear illness and death. I fear some of the existential questions that float around in my psyche. But now I have the tools and knowledge to cope with those fears when they arise.
I had to go through a bit of a shit storm to garner those tools and learn ways to overcome my fears. I sure hope you don't have to go through a shit storm too. Maybe you already have. Maybe you are facing one now. Hang on. Something good awaits you on the other side.

Here's my little 3-step guide to overcoming fear.

1. Get off the gerbil wheel.

The more you think about something, the more habitual the thinking becomes. I'm not just making this up. Read about the science of neuroplasticity. Your brain creates new neural pathways to reinforce repetitive thoughts and actions. If you are trapped in worry or fear-based thinking, you absolutely must get off of that gerbil wheel.
There are a variety of techniques for interrupting the fear and worry-thinking cycle. You can read about them in this post about breaking the chronic worry cycle and this one on 3 techniques for releasing worry and anxiety.
Just having the awareness that you are over-thinking your fears is enough to interrupt the cycle. Thinking about your fears does NOT give you more control over them. It only further entrenches you in fear.

2. Accept that you have no control.

You can worry and fear all the live-long day, but you have no control over most situations in life. Sure, you can make wise choices, practice healthy living, wear a seat-belt, and avoid dangerous parts of town. Using common sense and sound judgment does help keep some life problems from tracking you down. But beyond that, life unfolds as it will unfold. You can't control what people think of you. You can't prevent accidents from happening. You can't anticipate every possible outcome and prepare for it.
So the best you can do is manage what is reasonable to manage and let go. Just fall back and trust that the universe will catch you. Enjoy the relief of not worrying about possible consequences and instead focus on the joy of right now. Actively seek the beauty of the present moment and express gratitude for all of the good things in your life.

3. Realize your fears are faulty

If you think about bad outcomes or situations you feared in the past, I bet the vast majority of them never came to pass. Or if they did happen, they weren't nearly as bad as you feared they would be. Or if you have experienced something really difficult or traumatic, your ability to cope with it and survive was far stronger and more manageable than you feared.
Short of downright tragedies and horrendous events (which happen rarely), we aren't handed too much in life that we can't deal with. And when bad things do happen, we can cope with them far better with a practiced positive outlook than with entrenched fear-based thinking. When you train your brain to think positively and expect good outcomes, you have more energy and resiliency to handle difficulties.

Whether you love your job or hate it, you probably think about work on your off hours at some point. You kick around a particularly perplexing problem or grouchy client. You ponder how to deal with your boss’ latest antics. You brainstorm about how you’re going to get the heck out of there.
But there’s definitely a point at which this moves from helpful to, well, not so much.
In my experience, that point is typically when you find yourself panicking in the middle of the night about what’s going on at the office, writing work to-dos on your grocery list, and receiving fewer and fewer calls from friends (because, um, all you do is talk about your job).
In other words, bringing too much work home—even if that work is just rolling around in your head—can quickly make you an anxious, sleep-deprived, pretty boring dinner guest (and, yes, I know this from experience).
I also know that telling yourself to “think about work less” doesn’t quite work, so I loved the tips that Fast Company recently offered for training your brain to leave work at work.
Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Create Transition Rituals

Your commute home is a physical act that separates you from the office, but try to add something mental to that activity, too. Laura Vanderkam, the article’s author, recommends “listening to or reading something light,” but I find jamming to your favorite tunes, playing a tough game on your phone, or calling a friend also does the trick. As Vanderkam recommends, “ask your family members (or friends or roommates) about their days, and challenge yourself to be a good listener. Focusing on other people and their needs is a great way to get out of your own head.”

2. Give Your Brain a Different Problem to Solve

If your mind is still spinning after leaving the office, channel that energy into something else. Wondering whether you should attend your cousin’s destination wedding? Trying to decide what color to paint the bathroom? Use the immediate post-work time to think about that. If you’re still getting distracted, hold yourself accountable: Ask a co-worker or friend for a problem to solve, then promise you’ll have some thoughts on it by the time you get home.

3. Give Yourself a “Worry Time”

This is probably one of the most helpful tips I’ve found, especially if I’m thinking about a particularly hairy problem: Schedule a later time to stress. Think, “I’ll respond to that email tomorrow morning over coffee, and I won’t think about it until then,” or “That awful meeting is set for Tuesday, so I’ll set aside two hours on Monday to prepare for (freak out about) it.” As Vanderkam puts it, “Often, your brain just needs to know that there’s a time for thinking about that issue—and now is not that time.”

Before this 31-day plan became a lifestyle, I first had to remove the tumors of self-gratification and hubris (trust me, the attitude ruling my life in the old days was all about "what's in it for me?").
Now that you have a glimpse into your own plan, a fair warning: It's not about you. It took years for me to develop the understanding that life is really about giving, service, and meaningful relationships.
If you're still with me, these things have reshaped my path as entrepreneur, happy husband, proud father, and community leader. Many can be practiced in minutes per day. Others will require some courage and stretching. Use this to acclimate yourself to a life of happiness and success.

Your 31-Day Personal Development Plan

Day 1: Do something for someone else.
Do a "five-minute favor" for someone. Five-minute favors are selfless giving acts, without asking for anything in return from the people that you help. Examples of five-minute favors include: sharing knowledge, making an introduction, serving as a reference for a person, product, or service, or recommending someone on LinkedIn, Yelp, or another social place.
Day 2: Share your positive experiences with friends and family and watch your joy increase.
Studies published in BPS Research have found that sharing the good things that happen in your life is the way to happiness. In one study, participants that journaled and shared positive experiences with another person at least twice a week were more satisfied with life.
Day 3: Stop striving to achieve.
We all have a tendency to work too much, lose our balance, and, ultimately, our joy in life. It's the unhealthy feeling that if we don't do something productive every day, we've somehow failed. So allow your perfectionism to rest. Slow down, and know that life is OK the way it is, right at this minute. As you eliminate the need to strive and be perfect, surrender to the universe. You'll begin to appreciate and focus on other, neglected priorities that bring you joy.
Day 4: Put yourself in someone else's shoes.
Empathy and compassion are things you can develop, and it starts with thinking about other people's circumstances, understanding their pains and frustrations, and knowing that those emotions are every bit as real as our own. This helps you develop perspective, and opens you up to helping others, which also enhances your sense of gratitude.
Day 5: Discover your purpose and enjoy the journey.
Remind yourself frequently that the purpose of your life is not to work 10 hours per day, five days per week for 30 years, then retire to a golf course in Florida. Your true purpose should be to discover your calling in life, basking in the joy of the journey along the way, one step at a time. In the end, your legacy is left to these two questions:
· What impact did I make on the lives of others?
· Who did I serve and make better?
Day 6: Stop getting the attention and focus it on other people.
There's something magical that happens when we let other people have the glory. Reading this may bruise your ego, but when we shine the spotlight on someone else and let that person be seen, heard, respected, and considered special--it becomes enjoyable to do so, and gives us a peaceful and quiet confidence.
Day 7: Give thanks. Your situation could be a lot worse.
I don't care what religion you come from, start your day by thanking your higher power for the things you take for granted. As it turns out, if you make more than $30,000, you earn more than 53.2 percent of Americans. If you make more than $50,000, you earn more than 73.4 percent of Americans. Feeling grateful now? Say a little prayer and give thanks, and then pray for the other 73.4 percent.
Day 8: Exercise more of the P word.
Patience is a virtue I wish more people practiced. It helps you relax and rethink when things are snowballing out of control. Did that guy cut you off on the highway? Relax, take a deep breath, and consider that perhaps he's rushing to the hospital with his wife in labor in the backseat. Patience helps you see the innocence in other people during those really frustrating moments when you'd like fist to meet wall.
Day 9: Be the first to reach out after an argument.
The tendency for so many of us is to let resentment fester after an argument or misunderstanding, and then cut off the person from our lives until he or she reaches out to us with an apology. It's convenient. But it's also just plain dumb. You lose a friendship, a family relationship, or great work connection because your ego has to have its way. Instead, be the first to reach out to make amends, even if you're the one that has to apologize. That humble act will do wonders; the other person will soften, apologize, and allow you back into his or her life.
Day 10: Just. Say. No.
Truly happy people live a simple life. They have a simple schedule. They don't take on more than they can handle. They live according to their values and purpose. They have strong boundaries around what comes into their life. And they have no problem saying no. If it doesn't serve you, if it has little value, and if it doesn't make you better tomorrow than you are today--just ... say ... no.
Day 11: React to good news with genuine enthusiasm.
Researchers call it active and constructive responding (ACR). If a friend or colleague shares good news (say, a promotion), there are many ways in which you could respond to this news. An ACR response might be, "That's fantastic! I had no doubts the leadership team would recognize your hard work. Let's celebrate and get some pizza and beer tonight." An ACR response shares in people's joy and excitement, and shows interest and curiosity. By doing so, you'll maintain strong personal relationships and feel more positive.
Day 12: Be diligent.
Ever looked at an ant farm in action? Every single ant has amazing ambition and self-discipline. They are diligent! If you're wondering, "Why do I slack off so much?" it may be time to take a long, hard look in the mirror. What's keeping you from being diligent? Usually the first step of motivation is exactly that--just focus on the first step. Then, it's one step at a time after that. But whatever you do, get off the couch, stop Snapchatting, and choose to be diligent today.
Day 13: Soak up the wisdom of another person.
If you're a smart person (and I trust that you are since you're reading this list), you want to view yourself as a small fish in the great big pond of life--seeking out connections to learn from. So who are the people of influence in your life? Invite one of them to coffee, and learn something new from this person. It will make you better, and he or she will appreciate the chance to pay it forward.
Day 14: Journal about three new things you are grateful for.
Psychologist Shawn Achor told Oprah that you train your brain to be optimistic if you do this for 21 days in a row: Each day, write down three new things you are grateful for.
Day 15: And while you're at it, journal about one positive experience today.
Achor also told Oprah that if you spend two minutes daily journaling about one positive experience in the past 24 hours, it allows your brain to relive it, and teaches your brain that the behavior matters.
Day 16: Exercise for 15 minutes.
Achor also told Oprah that if you hate exercise, all it takes is 15 minutes of fun cardio activity, which is the equivalent of taking an antidepressant, but with a 30 percent lower relapse rate.
Day 17: Focus on your breathing.
Stop what you're doing. Now breathe, and watch your breath go in and out for two minutes. Do this every day. This allows your brain to focus on one thing at a time. In Achor's study, he says it will "raise accuracy rates, improve levels of happiness, and drop stress levels."
Day 18. Express kindness through a text or email.
Take two minutes each day to write a positive email or text praising or thanking someone you know. And do it for a different person each day. Achor says people who do this become known as positive leaders with strong social connections--the greatest predictor of long-term happiness.
Day 19: Find something or someone that will make you laugh.
Humor helps you think more broadly and creatively. Psychologists had students solve puzzles after watching a clip of Robin Williams doing standup. Twenty percent more puzzles were solved by sudden insight from students who had watched comedy compared with students who had watched scary or boring videos beforehand. There are other benefits: Laughter releases endorphins into the body--a chemical 10 times more powerful than morphine--with the same exhilarating effect as an intense workout at the gym.
Day 20: Deal with a problem you've been neglecting.
So you've been putting off handling a difficult person or putting closure to something. By facing conflict and going through the eye of the storm, you'll build resilience to deal with future problems seamlessly. Choosing to deal with the situation today will teach you to be more honest with yourself and others, give you the strength and openness to deal with problems quickly, and help you avoid procrastination.
Day 21: Do something fun.
Now that you've dealt with resolving a conflict, reward yourself with something fun. Science has found that people who have fun on the job are more creative and productive, make better decisions, and get along better with colleagues. Another study discovered that to unlock your creative potential, "go out and play" to lift your mood, and then come back to the problem.
Day 22: Build up your faith.
I don't speak of religion, which has been abusive to so many. I speak of a faith--whatever your belief system--that comes from a deep spiritual connection with a power greater than yours. A power that extends you grace, forgiveness, love. It's this faith that strengthens you and makes you endure your trials. A faith that helps you realize it's no longer about you.
Day 23: Have lunch with someone, and listen to that person selflessly.
Give someone your full, undivided attention, and listen to his or her story. The best listeners, as I've written about before, have an uncanny ability to listen intuitively to the other person before responding. They listen with one modus operandi: How can I help the other person?
Day 24: Pursue an activity that brings you peace.
Get involved in an activity that's enjoyable; something that will bring back that bounce in your step. What is it that you love to do? What brings you peace? Hint: Think hobbies, nature, friends, or exercise. I often take the lunch hour to swim, as it releases endorphins. What's going to bring you peace?
Day 25: Look at people in the eye, smile, and say hello.
We live in such a fear-driven and insulated culture that we don't even look people in the eye when we're walking down the street, sitting in subway trains, or even when making our way through office hallways. Just for today, think of strangers as being a little more like you, and treat them with the kindness and respect they deserve: Look them softly in the eye, smile, and give a warm greeting.
Day 26: Take some quiet time alone to reflect.
For 30 to 60 minutes, remove yourself from the noise, clutter, distractions, screaming kids, and busyness of life. It helps to do it first thing after you wake up. Go out into the stillness of the morning, sit on a dock, under a large tree, or on a swing bench and meditate on the good things of life. Close your eyes, breathe through your stomach, and center yourself. Setting aside this little ritual makes the rest of your day seem manageable. You'll notice a difference and a weight off your shoulders.
Day 27: Look at a situation by taking in the whole picture.
We call it self-awareness. It's choosing to see two sides of an issue by tapping into our feelings and those of others for a different outcome. It helps us to respond instead of react to people. By redirecting negative thoughts and emphasizing positive ones, you can be the real you and enjoy interpersonal relationships much better.
Day 28: Reframe!
Do you ever hear that voice inside your head tell you things like, "I screwed up again. I'm worthless." Or "I can't do this. I've never been able to do it; it's not going to work now." This is negative self-talk and it can be toxic, as it reinforces irrational thoughts. Catch yourself in the act of using negative words or phrases and identify the triggers. Are demands at work piling up? Are things at home not so peachy? Stop your thought midstream by saying to yourself (or in your head), "Stop!" Then dig deep down inside yourself and reframe your assumptions. Are you assuming something is a negative event when it isn't necessarily? Stop and reframe, and see if you can come up with a neutral or positive replacement.
Day 29: Readjust the strict rules you impose on yourself.
Are you a perfectionist? Identify one personal rule you live by that's rigid, unfair, or unhelpful. Then reword it to be more helpful, flexible, and forgiving. Then put your new rule into practice!
Day 30: Relax and be more spontaneous.
Doing both are really necessary for healthy living. So if you're at work, take regular breaks: Stretch, do breathing exercises, go for a walk outside, take a 15-minute nap, play a game, or just enjoy yourself. Add spontaneity to your life by going on a date with your spouse to a new ethnic restaurant, stopping afterward to watch the sunset. And next week, think about picking up a new hobby. Surprise yourself!
Day 31: Spend some quality time with an elderly person.
Elderly people have a rich and long history full of stories, experiences, and perspectives you've never thought of from simpler days gone by. There are many wins for you: It teaches you to be a better listener (day 23), builds up your patience (day 8) since elderly people typically speak slower, and you acquire new wisdom (day 13). They benefit from your attention (day 6) and kindness (day 18, 25).

Closing Thoughts

What would your life look like if you practiced some of these things everyday, extending this plan beyond a 31-day cycle? It just might help you live the life you've always wanted rather than settling for whatever comes your way.

Conversations are one of the greatest simple pleasures in life. It helps us connect and it helps us express our feelings. Sometimes they go well and our lives are changed forever, and sometimes they go horribly wrong, and well, our lives are also changed forever.

I was an awkward kid
A long long time ago when I was in grade school I had one of the most awkward social interactions of my entire life. It was shaping up to be a good day because we finished our in-class homework early so me and my best friend decided to take a stroll.
Overwhelmed with the amazing feeling of being out of class early, I was literally galloping along like a fawn in a Disney movie. It was then that I caught sight of my crush, and more importantly she initiated a conversation with me. It was the best day ever, or so I thought.
So a cute girl said hi to me, it was a great day, but guess what – I did not know what to say. I just stood there staring at her looking like a weirdo. Eventually something came to my mind and I tried cracking a witty joke. The joke was okay. Unfortunately, I was so tense that I made the huge mistake of laughing through my nose instead of my mouth. It just so happened that I had a heavy cold that day, so my runny nose made itself known like a firework on new year’s eve.
Looking back, I remember her face went from ecstatic to utter fear in an instant. The funny thing was she didn’t even pretend to not see that, she just saw and left and we never talked again. It’s funny to me now, but it was an extremely embarrassing moment for me back then. My best friend was laughing and I just laughed along with my tail in between my legs.
Awkward interactions always happen
We all have had awkward conversations, most of them not as extreme as my experience above, but most of them could be avoided if we simply knew the important aspects of a good conversation and a genuine connection. Just like what happened to me, we often times gets so tense that we do something stupid. I have come a long way from that awkward kid, not because I am “Mr.Smooth” but because I have made many more embarrassing mistakes that they have literally been carved into my memory.
Mistakes help you learn
Wouldn’t it be nice if we were taught the secrets to a great conversation by our parents or in school. Well here I am to save you all the trouble. You won’t have to go through all the awkward silences, bad jokes and face palms I had to go through. Just kidding, you probably still have to, but at least not as much. So here are the 10 conversation secrets everyone should know about.

1. RELAX AND LISTEN

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It is true that relaxing is easier said than done. When we are faced with a person we like, we tense up because we don’t want to make a mistake. This makes us self-conscious and all the pressure dramatically increases anxiety. Anxiety that inhibits our judgement. It also affects our body in many ways such as involuntary stuttering, uncontrollable sweating, panic farting etc. We all know those things can lead to embarrassing results that can haunt you for years, especially if its so bad you become a meme.

Secret: Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on the person you are talking to. Instead of being insecure about your self-worth flip the switch and see if you truly find something unique about the person you are talking to. It works similar to a technique used by people with social phobia. Instead of looking and thinking about people around them, they focus on other things such as counting the tiles on the floor, browsing through their phone, looking at passing cars, and many more things that distract you from what may trigger your anxiety.
The thing about these things is they are merely crutches and hinder your ability to connect with other people. I mean it would be pretty weird if you just suddenly start counting tiles on the floor while in the middle of a sentence. The best way to deal with anxiety during a conversation is to remove the focus from yourself and focus understanding the personality and situation of the person you are talking to. It builds connection and reduces anxiety – a win win situation.

2. WHY SO SERIOUS

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There is a time and place for deep heart felt conversations. Meeting new people is not the place for them. Unless it’s a special circumstance, people will often be overwhelmed by the sudden rush of intimate conversation and pull away. Being easily offended will equally repel people from you. Being too stiff is just no fun, and makes for an unrewarding interaction.

Secret: Don’t take things too seriously. Joke around and roll with the punches. It will make for more interesting non-committal conversations that will make someone more comfortable to stick around and chat. It’s not what you say that matters, its how you say it.

3. BE GENUINE

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There are minute facial reactions that occur when we are interested in someone or when we are genuinely happy i.e. raised eyebrows, wider eyes, better posture, dilated pupils etc. that we can’t fake. People pick up on those tiny body languages subconsciously and emotionally react to it. When we become dishonest, the discomfort shows in our body language and people instinctively react to it and the conversation becomes awkward.

Secret: Its best to be honest. I’m not saying wear your heart out on your sleeve, since that can be overwhelming especially for people you just recently met. But if you are feeling down, let someone know in a subtle way such as “Sorry if I seem a bit down today, I’m just having a bad day so anyways what were you saying?” There are polite ways to say sensitive topics for the sake of being honest. Doing so will make you feel better which in turn will make the person you are talking to reciprocate the positive attitude.

4. BE POSITIVE

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It can be draining to talk someone who is always negative. If all you talk about is bad news and negativity, you become associated with it and people will develop an aversion towards you.

Secret: Its best to look at the bright side of things. You become a beacon of excitement and fun, and people gravitate towards positivity. That being said, it is not a good thing to feel like you should keep things bottled in, and you should always be “Miss Perfect.” There are ways to discuss negative aspects of life in a positive way, so don’t think for a second that you have to be fake. We are all human, we all have flaws. Those flaws make you unique and you should not see them in a negative way, but in a positive way. See, you even become a better friend to yourself.

5. BE INTERESTING

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A lot of people have the common misconception that they have to show others how “cool” they are by talking about the “cool” stuff that they do. That is by far the most boring thing you can do when meeting people. Ask about them, talk about their amazing experiences and relate those to your experiences creating a connection between their experiences and yours. That “Me Too!” moment is the eureka where a simple conversation blossoms into a so-close-ill-fart-even-when-your-around type of friendship.

Secret: Avoid asking too many “interview questions” that require only one answer. Instead throw in some open-ended questions. Let’s say your friend talked about her recent trip to India, ask them a question that requires them to think creatively like “What was the most exciting part of your trip?” or “Did you experience anything unexpected?”

6. TELL A STORY

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The most captivating people are people who know how to tell an amazing story. You’re capability to tell a good story will highlight your personality. It helps the people you meet get to know you better and makes them want to know more about your experiences because the way you share your experience makes people care about you, makes them sympathize with your struggles, makes them feel your joy when you accomplish what you have attained. Basically if you know to how to tell a good story, you are basically taking someone on a journey with you not using your feet but using your words and expressions.

Secret: Talk about your story with emotion. Tell them how you felt about what you saw, heard, or experienced. Adding some physical gestures into it will certain increase the impact. A story with no emotion is like a 4th of July with no fireworks or a Christmas with no gifts. For a more detailed analysis Andrew Stanton, the writer and director of Pixar, talks about how to tell a great story on his TED talk.

7. DON’T BE TOO AVAILABLE

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People become uncomfortable when they feel like they are trapped in a conversation even if they like the person they are talking to. It’s some kind of social pressure that tends show up once in a while and takes you off guard.

Secret: If you are in a party or gathering, exit politely by going to the bathroom or getting some food if you think the conversation is going stale. It’s also nice to give someone opportunities to exit a conversation just in case they have to get going. People have stuff to do, don’t stress about it if they to leave prematurely there is always a next time.

8. EYE CONTACT

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This is by far one of the most overlooked aspect of connecting with people. If you talk to someone who doesn’t give you enough eye contact, they seem either distant or awkward. Too much and it becomes intimidating.

Secret: Don’t be afraid to make facial expressions with your eyes. A creepy stare is often times a blank emotionless stare.

9. BE UNDERSTANDABLE

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Talking too fast is a common reaction when nervous. When people don’t understand you, they can’t relate to you and they will often end up just cruising through the conversation.

Secret: Take out your mobile phone and record yourself telling a story. It should give you a very good indication of what you need to work on.

10. GIVE COMPLIMENTS

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Every person has something amazing to offer and it is an amazing feeling when someone acknowledges that. Don’t forget that after getting to know someone, its best to give someone a little bit of genuine compliment. Something like “You’re pretty smart” or “You’re having a good hair day” can go a long way.

Secret: A genuine compliment about someone’s uniqueness helps establish a deep connection because people often times give generalized compliments. People like to be appreciated for who they really are.
Enjoy yourself
It’s easy to get lost in your own head when it comes to dealing with social matters. We feel vulnerable when we feel like we are being rejected. Don’t feel like there is something wrong with you when someone you like doesn’t reciprocate. If things don’t work out then simply move on. Don’t obsessed over it because the reason for things not working out can be one in a million reasons. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
Enjoy the little things, enjoy the small conversations, even enjoy your mistakes and the funny anecdotes. Simply enjoy meeting all kinds of people because we live in a golden age of inter-connectivity. It used to be that you’d need to ride a camel 10 days just to say hi to someone new. It’s a whole world out there, meet friends, build positive relationships and ignore the haters.

Most of us have strange habits. Here’s one of Steve Sultanoff’s: From time to time, he goes out in public wearing a clown nose (and carries one with him always). His reasoning is pretty straightforward: “You just never know when a clown nose might come in handy,” he says. Sultanoff also carries a false Elvis driver’s license, which he presents at hotels whenever he checks in.

Strange as they sound, Sultanoff’s quirks serve a purpose. The Irvine-based psychologist and self-described “clinical mirthologist” is a hard-core proponent of the idea that humor, experienced often and in everyday life, can enhance one’s health, friendships, and even romantic relationships. And he’s right: Laughter, humor’s external measurement, is clinically shown to reduce blood pressure, increase pain tolerance, and boost the immune system. It even makes you sexier: A survey conducted this year by Discover and Match Media Group found that 67 percent of respondents cited having a sense of humor as “very” or “extremely” important in a potential mate.

Of course, for many of us, seeing someone bust out a clown nose at the DMV is more likely to induce an eye roll than a laugh. But it makes Sultanoff chuckle, and that’s the point. Many people misunderstand humor as a purely relational experience — they focus on making better jokes, or coming up with the perfect quip. But according to Sultanoff, the path to a better sense of humor starts from within. That’s because the building blocks of humor are universal: Most of what we find funny will translate to others. So if you’re looking for how to improve your sense of humor, you would do well to start by making yourself laugh. Here’s how to get there.

Know what funny means.

Let’s start off by considering what humor really is. “You could start with the simple definition, which is that humor is what makes us laugh,” Sultanoff says. However, he notes that humor can be experienced without laughter, like when we type ‘lol’ into a text message without laughing, or read a great Calvin & Hobbes strip with a stony face. A better indicator for something humorous, Sultanoff says, is if it induces “mirth,” or that internal feeling of “ha” we all experience — a glimmery, satisfying recognition of a specific type of pleasure.

One of the more well-known theories of humor is the “benign violation” theory — the idea that something is funny when it disrupts your sense of normalcy, but only in a way that doesn’t present any real harm. That can take the form of simple incongruity, when two unlike things merge (one famous example taken from Harry Potter: Severus Snape wearing Neville Longbottom’s grandmother’s green dress and hat). It can also take the form of outrageousness, like when comedians violate social norms to shock us into laughter (think Sarah Silverman, or the South Park guys).

A related element, Sultanoff says, is “a threat that never was,” when you suddenly realize, in the midst of an unclear, slightly threatening predicament, that everything is actually safe. Sultanoff cites the TV show Candid Camera as an example of this. A similar phenomenon is something he describes as “emotional chaos, remembered in tranquility,” like cracking jokes in the aftermath of a natural disaster. (Research says the sweet spot for this type of humor — so the jokes aren’t too soon, but still have some relevance — is just over a month after the event in question.)

Understanding the fundamentals of humor is just one small piece of the puzzle, though. To incorporate this knowledge into your life, you’ll need to work in three broad categories: First, you need to work on seeing these elements in the world around you; second, you need to consciously increase the amount of humor in your life; and finally, you’ll need to learn how to translate all this funny business to others.

Learn what to look for.

As a young boy, Sultanoff remembers, he and his dad once drove past a cemetery near their home. “At the end of the street there was a sign that said, ‘dead end,’” he recalls. “‘Now, some people might not even notice that.’” But his dad thought it was hilarious, and rightly so. These days, Sultanoff tries to look for humor everywhere — in street signs, at restaurants, and, of course, after hurricanes.

Sultanoff recalls his father’s find as an example of “comic vision,” or the ability to see funniness in everyday life. “Look at the absurdity around you. Check for incongruities,” he advises. Comic vision is an essential skill for a humorist, he says. By looking at the world through funky-colored lenses, you’ll start experiencing humorous situations more often, which will ultimately provide fodder for your interactions with others.

Seek out situations that make you laugh.

Spending time with things you already find funny — TV shows, movies, podcasts, etc. — can do a great deal to help you refine your own personal sense of humor: You learn what type of humor you like, and, just as important, what you don’t. For example, Sultanoff, who likes puns and nerdy jokes, regularly watches The Big Bang Theory; on the flip side, he’s learned that sitcoms about struggling 20-somethings, such as Friends, don’t sate his humor appetite, and so he doesn’t bother watching something he knows won’t benefit from. Once you know what kinds of humor you like, you can expand your palate slowly and consciously — for example, going from Big Bang Theory to another nerd-related show, or Friends to Cheers.

It’s also possible to reverse-engineer humor by laughing, Sultanoff says. He cites laughter yoga and laughter clubs, in which people make themselves laugh for health benefits and end up experiencing mirth as well. We do this organically in many social situations, too: people, especially women, laugh to facilitate social interactions even if nothing humorous is going on. Laugh generously, and you’re building a social environment that’s more conducive to future funny moments.

Find a joke buddy.

If you really want to make yourself funnier, you have to practice — and the best way to do that is to get someone to hold you accountable. Set a goal: Once a day, maybe, tell that person a joke. It’s best if done in person, okay over the phone, and worst over text, but when you have a ready-made audience, any bit helps.

If you want to kick things up a notch, you can also sign up for an improv class, which helps build the same skills that make someone funny in a more natural setting. Improv requires tremendous amounts of comic vision — you have to be able to see the potential humor in a random situation — as well as quick reflexes and delivery to get the joke out into the world. Most professional improv organizations offer classes to nonprofessionals, be they amateurs or aspiring comedians. If you live in a metropolitan area, chances are there’s a theater offering classes near you.

Know your audience.

Ultimately, most humor translates across situational boundaries, Sultanoff says, so the idea of developing something like “workplace-specific humor” is somewhat overrated — as long as you keep the jokes appropriate to the setting, the building blocks of humor will stay the same. But it is important to know what kind of people you’re talking to. A joke that works on Americans might not work so well in Taiwan, for instance, simply because cultural norms are different.

The trick, Sultanoff says, is to know how to apply the basic principles of humor to specific situations. For instance, the idea of the “gag” — a simple, recurring joke that employs incongruity and perhaps a prop —translates perfectly to a workplace environment in the mockumentary sitcom The Office, like the scene in the first episode when Jim places Dwight’s stapler in Jell-O. The Office is actually full of such gags — the deadpan look at the camera, Michael’s recurring speech errors, Creed’s weird eating habits — that familiarize us with the absurdity of the characters but are also specific to the world of the show, which is a strange parallel to the corporate workspace that many of us know.

And these gags got funnier over time. Know why? Because Jim (well, John Krasinski) and the rest of the Office team had time to familiarize themselves with the show’s unique and batty sense of humor — and so did we. The more Office-specific pranks that occurred, and the more each character had their opportunity to joke around, the more viewers developed their taste for the show’s unique flavor of humor. We built our relationships with the characters, and internalized their pranks and personalities. Over time, their jokes became our own.

I’ve already posted most of the advice below but scattered among five or six posts. I thought it would be useful to collect all of my happiness and success rules in a single place. Enjoy!

1. Assume People Have Good Intentions

Since you can’t read minds, you don’t really know the “why” behind the “what” that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people’s weird behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.

2. Avoid Using Negative Words

Stop using negative phrases, such as “I can’t,” “It’s impossible,” or “This won’t work.” Stop using profanity, too. What comes out of your mouth programs your mind. When you talk trash, you’re transforming your brain into trash.

3. Avoid Spending Time with Stressed-Out People

You may not realize it, but your physiology is programmed to mirror the physiology of those around you. In other words, you can “catch” stress from other people. So although it may not be possible to avoid stressed people all the time, avoid them as far as possible.

4. Begin Each Day with Expectation

If there’s any big truth about life, it’s that it usually lives up to (or down to) your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make your first thought be, “Something wonderful is going to happen today.” Guess what? You’re probably right.

5. Breathe More Deeply

Breathing deeply calms you down but, more importantly, it helps ensure that plenty of oxygen is getting into your lungs and into your blood stream, where (among other things) it helps your brain work more efficiently.

6. Celebrate More Frequently

The small and large successes and accomplishments in your life deserve recognition. It’s a mistake to head straight for the next task or the next goal without celebrating, even if it’s only patting yourself on the back.

7. Daydream More Frequently

The idea that daydreaming and working are mutually exclusive belongs back in the 20th century. It’s when you let your thoughts wander that you’re more likely to have the insights that will make you both unique and more competitive.

8. Decide That You Must Achieve Your Goals

When you approach a task that leads toward your goal, never start out by saying, “I’ll try...” When you use that phrase, you’re giving yourself permission to fail. Instead, phrase your action in terms of “I will...!” or “I must...!” No wiggle room allowed.

9. Define “Failure” as “Failing to Take Action”

Regardless of your goals and milestones, you don’t have control over anything except your own behavior. Redefining failure as “failing to take action” puts failure (and therefore success) within your control.

10. Deflect Partisan Conversations

Arguments about politics and religion never have a “right” answer, but they definitely get people all riled up over things they can’t control. When such topics surface, bow out by saying something like: “Thinking about that stuff makes my head hurt.”

11. Don’t Waste Energy on Hate

Hate is an emotional parasite that eats away at your energy and health. If something is wrong with the world and you can change it, take action. If you can’t take action, you’re better off to forgive and forget.

12. Don’t Take Calls from Strangers

Unless you’re working in telesales or product support, there’s no reason you should ever take a call from somebody you don’t know. After all, when was the last time you took an unexpected call that was truly important? If it’s important, they’ll get you through email.

13. Don’t Take Yourself Seriously

The ability to laugh at your foibles not only makes you happier as a person, it makes you more powerful, more influential, and more attractive to others. If you can’t laugh at yourself, everyone else will be laughing behind your back.

14. Don’t Try to Win Every Argument

Some battles aren’t worth fighting, and many people are easier to handle when they think they’ve won the argument. What’s important isn’t “winning,” but what you, and the other people involved, plan to do next.

15. Don’t Succumb To Malice or Gossip

Before you tell a story about anybody else, or listen to such a story, ask yourself four questions: Is it true?, Is it kind?, Is it necessary?, and Would I want somebody telling a similar story about me?

16. Don’t Worry What Others Think About You

You can’t mind-read and you don’t have everyone else wired into a lie detector. Truly, you have no idea what anyone is really thinking about you. It’s a total waste of time and energy to cling to your own idea of what that might be, especially if it’s negative.

17. Drink More Water

Even a tiny amount of dehydration can “drain your energy and make you tired,” according to the Mayo Clinic. They recommend that men drink roughly three liters (about 13 cups) and women 2.2 liters (about nine cups) of total beverages every day.

18. Eat a Big Breakfast

There’s truth to the old saying that you should eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a merchant, and supper like a pauper. Fueling up early makes you less likely to need that extra jolt of sugar at about 10:30 AM.

19. End Each Day With Gratitude

Just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh or as huge as a million-dollar deal. Whatever it is, be grateful for that day because it will never come again.

20. Exercise Your Eyes

While working at a screen, periodically stare at something that’s far away, like out the window. If necessary, get up and find a window or at least a hallway so that you can focus at a distance. This keeps your eyesight from degenerating.

21. Find the Right Job for You

While some work environments are inherently difficult, if you’re consistently miserable, it’s your fault. You owe it to yourself and your co-workers to either find a job that makes you happy or make the best of the job you’ve got.

22. If It’s Scary, Do it Now

Being successful means taking risks, and risks are inherently scary. Rather than letting fear keep you from taking action, use it as a signal that it’s time to actually take action. It may sound trite, but there’s real truth the old saying: “Feel the fear, then do it anyway.”

23. Know and Keep Your Personal Limits

While your job might sometimes seem like the most important thing in your world, you’re killing a part of yourself if you let work situations push you into places that violate your privacy and your integrity.

24. Let Go of Your Results

The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on events that are outside your control. Once you’ve taken action, there’s usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than some weird fantasy of what might happen.

25. Listen to Something Inspiring

Your ears are the pathway to your brain. When doing something visually boring (like driving), listen to audio books or motivation talks. When you need some extra energy, listen to music that “pumps you up.”

26. Make a Public Commitment

To provide an extra oomph to your efforts, make a formal public commitment to your goals. For example, you might want to sign up for a charity race that you couldn’t possibly run without first getting yourself in tip-top shape.

27. Make Peace With Your Past

Focusing on past mistakes or wrongs inflicted on you is like driving a car while looking in the rearview mirror. You’ll keep heading in the same direction until you collide with something solid.

28. Make Your Goals Pervasive

Post your goals everywhere you spend time. Post them on your bathroom mirror, right behind your computer screen, and on the dashboard of your car. The more you see your goals, the easier it will be to achieve them.

29. Monitor Your Progress

Keep a record of what you’ve already accomplished. Review this when you’re feeling discouraged or unsure—it’s an instant confidence builder and helps you focus on the positive.

30. Never Argue With Strangers

When you’re driving, you’re going to see people driving in ways that are stupid, dangerous, and annoying. Even so, you’re wasting your energy getting upset about what they do, much less reacting to it by honking or flipping the bird.

31. Never Attend Agenda-less Meetings

Meetings are only useful if people know why they’re meeting in the first place. An agenda provides focus and purpose. The lack of an agenda guarantees meandering conversations that dive into rat holes. They’re a waste of your (and everyone else’s) time.

32. Realize That You Are Responsible for Your Emotions

Your attitude isn’t controlled by the outside world. While truly sad things do happen, most of the time your attitude is the result of how you’re viewing the world, rather than what’s happening in it.

33. Remember That Everything Will Change

The nature of the physical universe is change. Nothing remains the same; everything is, as the gurus say, transitory. Whether you’re celebrating or mourning or something in between, this, too, will pass.

34. Remember That Rejection Is an Illusion

Rejection is an emotionally-loaded term that people unwisely use when they fail to achieve a goal that involves another person. Nobody feels “rejected” when he or she sets a goal to, say, run a four-minute mile, but then only end up running it in five minutes.

35. Set Achievable Yet Inspirational Goals

If you don’t believe your goal is achievable, you won’t take action to achieve it. Therefore, any goal that you set must be within the realm of possibility and tied to actions that you can actually take.

36. Set Measurable Milestones

Big goals are easier to achieve if you break them up into smaller chunks or milestones. Achieving milestones gives you more confidence, strengthens your motivation, and helps you build momentum.

37. Smile and Laugh More Frequently

Contrary to popular belief, smiling and laughter are not the result of being happy; they’re part of a cycle that both creates and reinforces happiness. Find reasons to smile. Never, ever suppress a laugh.

38. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Everybody, and I mean everybody, starts out in a different place and is headed on their own journey. You have no idea where someone else’s journey might lead them, so drawing comparisons is a complete waste of time.

39. Stop Complaining About Not Having Enough Time

You get the same amount of time every day as everyone else. You may feel you’re short on time and that you desperately need more, but when the day started, you got your fair share: 24 hours. Nobody got any more than you did, so stop complaining.

40. Stop Listening to and Leaving Voicemails

A voicemail message consumes minutes of your time (more if you have to replay) to communicate information you could absorb from an email in seconds. Explain in your outgoing message that you don’t use voicemail and provide your email address.

41. Stretch Regularly

Your body is not well suited for sitting down for long periods of time. Quite the contrary, the human body evolved so that it’s optimized for running around in the woods, whacking animals with a stick.

42. Take a Walk After Lunch

Numerous scientific studies have shown that a walk after a meal improves your digestion, helps you regulate your blood sugar, and increases your mental acuity. It’s the best way to avoid that “heavy” feeling that often follows a meal.

43. Take Action Immediately After Setting a Goal

Once you’ve gotten your goals set into your mind, it’s time to take action. Approach each action with confidence that you’ll eventually succeed. The more action you take at the beginning, the more momentum you build.

44. Take Power Naps

Lack of sleep is disastrous to your health and numerous studies show that people are more productive at work after taking a quick nap. Don’t fall into the trap of working when you’re sleepy. You’ll get it done faster if you give your brain a break.

45. Take the Stairs

While stair climbing doesn’t consume all that many calories (about 300 if you’re average height and weight and climb five flights, five times a day), it does cause your heart to work harder, thereby improving your circulation and your overall health.

46. Take Time to Plan and Prioritize

The most common source of stress is the perception that you’ve got too much work to do. Rather than obsess about it, pick one thing that, if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and purpose in life. Then do that first.

47. Think of Rejections as Stepping Stones

When I wanted to publish my first business book, I sent the proposal to dozens of editors and got plenty of “rejection” letters. Rather than feeling discouraged, I started each day by laying out the letters on the floor and walking on them as if they were stepping stones.

48. Throw Out Things That Aren’t Useful or Beautiful

You’ll be spending about a third of your waking adult life at work. Why would you want to fill your work environment—and that part of your life—with objects that are useless and ugly?

49. Treat Setbacks as Success Signals

Most people treat setbacks as mini-failures, and often use them as an excuse to give up—and therefore fail. Learning what doesn’t work is an essential part of learning what does! Setbacks are a sign that you’re making progress.

50. Turn Off Background TV

Many people leave their TVs on as background noise while they’re doing other things. The entire point of TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you’ll buy more stuff. Why subliminally program yourself to be a mindless consumer?

51. Turn Off Depressing News

So whenever there’s a news story that starts to make you angry or upset, change the channel—unless it’s 100% relevant to your life—or click to another page. Why torture yourself needlessly? You’re only draining away your own energy!

52. Turn Off Your Computer Alerts

Doing something creative, talking to somebody important, or absorbing complex information are all impossible if your computer and phone are chirping and beeping for your attention. Whatever it is, it can wait.

53. Use More Positive Words

When asked “How are you?” respond with “Terrific!” or “Fabulous!” or “I’ve never felt better!” rather than a depressing “OK” or “Getting by.” Rather than saying, “I’m enraged!” say “I’m a bit annoyed”—or, better yet, “I’ve got a challenge.”

54. Use Technology to Stay Focused

Set reminders in your email and calendar programs to keep you focused on achieving your goals rather than just noting activities that pop up throughout your daily life. Harness technology to focus your efforts rather than distract them.

55. Work 40 Hours a Week (or Less)

Workaholics may think they’re accomplishing more than the less fanatical worker, but in fact, long hours result in stressed-out people who get too sick to work and produce sloppy results that must be either scrapped or redone.

56. Write Your Goals Down on Paper

Talk is cheap, so goals aren’t real unless they’re written down on paper, by hand. This subliminally tells your mind that these goals are important and different, as opposed to a text email that you send to yourself, which is soon composed and soon forgotten.

57. Write Your Goals Out Every Day

The more frequently you write your goals down on paper, the more power they’ve got. When Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame, wants to achieve a goal, he writes that goal down 10 times every morning.